The Day You Realize You Spiritually Bypassed Your Biggest Wounds
A personal, artistic reflection on spiritual bypassing, motives and consequences. An unfolding of self-discovery and self-betrayal, leading to a refined way of being.
What is the Ego?
And what is it anyhow about?
Isn't it something to ignore, something to reduce, tame, grab, get hold on,
transcend or even kill/defeat completely?
Such an easy way to neglect myself, an illusive way to escape my humanness,
to transcend it even.
It equals itself, humanness and ego, intimately connected.
Without me, might there still be a human, a someone, a something?
What if we take away completely the notion of me, of I,
like some of us might have experienced?
Something transcendental might occur, in different states of consciousness,
on different planes like Ram Dass describes so vividly in his own inquiry.
Unity, oneness but also the void. Everything and nothing at the same time,
unlimited potential but no existence, no-thing from which everything arises
- it seems.
But if no-thing, the absolute, is the ultimate goal in life, what is left afterward
- if no-thing, the death of the ego, void seems without existence?
Might it be, that it appealed to me as a refugee place, a place of transcending
not only my ego but first and foremost a way to escape from life itself?
To escape from the sometimes heavy, dense, painful, loaded existence
we co-created in physical form as humans?
I certainly did, as far as I can see it now.
A different standpoint and new perspectives, outgrown an idea
that pushed me further and further to my existential limits,
with no comfort zone in sight anymore.
Turbulent.
The ultimate goal of transcendence - can it be, that I misunderstood
some spiritual teachings subconsciously, purposefully?
I guess so.
If the relative reality as John Welwood describes it, becomes too painful
as stored memory in physical form, brought to life through our perceived,
self-created story. Where could be the ultimate place to hide?
For me, it was home beyond.
But this home beyond has been a place to escape, not a place to arrive.